today, my heart is full.
full of love for my ben, the kind of love that takes your breath away when you catch him staring at you,
full of comfort that i have a family that will welcome me home any time of the day or night,
full of joy that i know i'm right where i'm supposed to be, doing what i'm supposed to do, even though this degree has absolutely nothing with what i want in the future,
full of excitement about my future!
about spending my life with this kid, spreading our wings and following our dreams, having this whole road ahead of me to just live as it comes.
also full of dread a little bit.
leaving this family who loves me so much is going to be hard.
we'll only be about a 4 hour plane ride away, 25 hours of driving, probably 3 weeks of walking if you really put your mind to it, but jeez, that's a lot different than being separated by a few walls in our house. or a 20 minute drive from school to home. or a 12 minute drive from home to dad's house.
my sister left a note in my purse this past weekend when i stayed at home for the night.
a note about how i'm her best friend and she loves me so much, and she sees that benny boy makes me so much happier than anyone could have hoped for and she understands that we need to go to texas and do what's on our hearts, but dang, it's going to be hard.
she said she's going to miss me so much. it's going to be weird not having me right here to count on. to cuddle with and fix her hair and tell her when she's being a stubborn teenager. even though she's planning on following me right down there as soon as she can get out of the house, it's not going to be the same for a few years.
she cried when she wrote it. i cried when i read it. and i'm crying now.
i love her so much.
i love my family so much.
and i love ben so much.
today i'm thankful that i have so much to fill my heart.
this post, that Megan pointed out, has been one that i've kept coming back to, as these thoughts have been bouncing around in my head.
please go read it.
it'll make your heart burst.
the last paragraph makes me stop every time.