i'll keep you safe

from here

today, my heart is full.
full of love for my ben, the kind of love that takes your breath away when you catch him staring at you,
full of comfort that i have a family that will welcome me home any time of the day or night, 
full of joy that i know i'm right where i'm supposed to be, doing what i'm supposed to do, even though this degree has absolutely nothing with what i want in the future,
full of excitement about my future!
about spending my life with this kid, spreading our wings and following our dreams, having this whole road ahead of me to just live as it comes.
also full of dread a little bit. 
leaving this family who loves me so much is going to be hard.
we'll only be about a 4 hour plane ride away, 25 hours of driving, probably 3 weeks of walking if you really put your mind to it, but jeez, that's a lot different than being separated by a few walls in our house. or a 20 minute drive from school to home. or a 12 minute drive from home to dad's house.

my sister left a note in my purse this past weekend when i stayed at home for the night.
a note about how i'm her best friend and she loves me so much, and she sees that benny boy makes me so much happier than anyone could have hoped for and she understands that we need to go to texas and do what's on our hearts, but dang, it's going to be hard.
she said she's going to miss me so much. it's going to be weird not having me right here to count on. to cuddle with and fix her hair and tell her when she's being a stubborn teenager. even though she's planning on following me right down there as soon as she can get out of the house, it's not going to be the same for a few years.
she cried when she wrote it. i cried when i read it. and i'm crying now.
i love her so much. 
i love my family so much.
and i love ben so much.
today i'm thankful that i have so much to fill my heart.

this post, that Megan pointed out, has been one that i've kept coming back to, as these thoughts have been bouncing around in my head.
please go read it.
it'll make your heart burst.
the last paragraph makes me stop every time.


Happy Wife said...

Love the way family fills are hearts...
Such great magic and wonder in the love of families.
Glad that you have such a great one :)
And yay for sister bff's!

HiLLjO said...

You're beautiful.

Lauren said...

My little sister wrote me a similar note when I moved away to college. And then when I graduated college and moved out west. Out west to begin my life, to spread my wings and live my dream.
We're lucky, we have family that loves us, that misses us when we're gone, but understands our dreams and that we need to go and follow them. Your dream leads you down to Texas with an amazing man. Mines leading me all over the world.
The hardest part is leaving your home and family. The second hardest part is coming home to visit just to know that your leaving again in a few days. But I know that my family loves me. And their support is the reason I have the strength to be the person I am and do the things I do.
I know that you're the same way and that you know that our family loves us and supports us. So go follow your dream girl, I'm with you all the way!

Anonymous said...

your sister's note is so sweet. My sister wrote something similar about me for her college admission's essay. It literally made me choke up. Sisters are so special<3

The Teenagers said...

i really love your blog and what a great post! thanks for sharing (: i followed your lovely blog and hope you can follow back!


Ariel said...

So sweet!

Alana said...

Oh girl, I know exactly how you feel. I have a sister too, and being away from her is like missing part of me. It will be hard, but it will be wonderful too.