It's hard to know what to say in a time like this, with so many transitions taking place and life as I know it coming to an end. It's even harder to know what to say in such a public forum, with aunts and grandmas and real life friends reading.

We leave in a week. The movers are coming tomorrow and we'll stay with our parents for six days: my mom's for a few and then his. We have a bunch of goodbye lunches and dinners and a party and then next Tuesday morning, we'll pull out of Spencerport with our truck/motorcycle/SmartCar combo and head south to Richardson, Texas.

I'm thankful for everyone that is making it hard to leave. For everyone who loves us so much that they're encouraging us even though it's going to hurt them too. After growing up in western New York for 22 years, I do have roots here. I denied it for a while, as a teenager wanting to get as far away as possible, but now I see it. I have roots in this city, the one that I've stared at from the 490 bridge a thousand times, as we've driven in to see our friends, go to dinner, visit a festival. Everywhere we go, there's someone I know and almost everywhere we go, I know how to get there. Ben doesn't believe me half of the time, but I know my way around this city. Especially after staying here for college [and meeting my husband], this place finally feels like home.

But it's time to get going. To try something new and to make a new city home. We have some time at our new place before I start my job and I think we'll take that chance to explore our new town. To go for walks and find new places to eat and to settle in. I have no doubts that we'll find our groove and we'll make that place our home too.

But for now, I'm taking everything in here. I'm taking advantage of the fact that most of my family lives within a 20 minute radius and we're spending time with everyone before we go. We said goodbye to a best friend yesterday, as he left for a summer of traveling before grad school, and I'm sure we'll say goodbye to our other friends this weekend, in the good, old-fashioned stumble across Rochester way. Right now I'm sitting on my front porch writing this as I listen to the earlybirds sing because I know that 7 am in Texas might even be too hot for this. I'm going to finish this post, walk two blocks to get coffee from my favorite cafe in town, and I'm going to come home to wake up my sweet husband and get to packing. I may not love this town enough to stick around forever, but I certainly love it enough to be sad about leaving. This place has been home for all of my years so far and how do you say goodbye to home?

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

It was a weekend full of family.
1] filled boxes
2] fitting in as a monster
 3] a deserted mall
4] mother & daughter-in-law pink pants 
5] my favorite guy

1] Packing up the apartment with my sweet grandma on Friday was somehow cathartic; I think partially because it was the first tangible step towards this next phase of our lives, and partially because my grandma is one of the few people that really gets me and loves me fiercely anyways. Spending time talking with her is always good for my heart.

2 & 3] Ben and I made it a point to go on a date Friday night. I've been working from home these past two weeks, as you know, and not really having a reason to put pants on and leave the house was really starting to get to me. Ben had an absolutely crazy week of school work that ended Friday afternoon, so we decided to get out of the damn house and do something. I put on some a new shirt, some jeans, and high heels and I felt like a new woman. Never mind the fact that the new heels gave me a wicked blister that I'm pretty sure is going to require amputating my foot. We had a dance party on the way to Outback Steakhouse, scouted out Lowe's for the best new drill for Ben to use a Christmas gift card on, and later settled into the germy movie theatre seats to take in The Great Gatsby [which was so good, by the way]. After the movie, we met one of our best friends out in the city, caught up over some beer, and wasted money on hunting video games and the dart board.

On Saturday, we slept in really late, I stuck to my commitment of running 5 days a week even though I hate weekend runs, and then we headed out for the night, stopping by my step-sister's college graduation party and going out to dinner with Ben's parents. He graduates next weekend, but will be at his Air Force base, so they wanted to celebrate ahead of time and motivate Ben for a strong last week. You know me; I consider breadsticks to be one of the best motivators out there. Din was delicious and spending time with Ben's parents was really nice too.

4 & 5] Sunday was a day of pink pants at church, burgers on the grill, and saying thank you to our mommas. We spent the day at Ben's parents, watching weird movies and doing homework, and once my mom got home from a weekend away, we visited her as well. I'm so thankful for both of these women in my life and for how loving and supportive they always are.

Now onto another week of grad work and packing up. I cannot believe that we leave two weeks from tomorrow. I move 1,500 miles away from my family in two weeks. What.

currently: late Tuesday night

A little leftover picture from after the Color Run on Saturday. I love this kid.
Thinking about: all there is to be done before our move. The movers come two weeks from tomorrow, which is beyond crazy, and our house is still very much unpacked. Thankfully, my mom found us a ton of boxes and I plan to get going on Friday, but still. I've never really packed for a move before, so this is going to be interesting.

Feeling: a little unproductive. This time off before we go is supposed to be my get-stuff-done time, but I'm not doing so hot. I have little spurts of productivity and then I just hit a wall and get distracted by wanting to be outside, getting lost in the internet, or wanting to take a nap. I'm not the best at this working from home thing.

Watching: a little tv at night. I hate that I'm getting into a reality singing show, but Ben's mom got us hooked on The Voice. That's the only show we watch when it's on and then when we have a little down time to watch tv, we go online and catch up on How I Met Your Mother, The Mindy Project, The Office, and SNL. The usual.

Reading: only grad school things. Besides the monthly Glamour & Cosmo delivered to my door, I'm still in the bubble of grad readings. That won't really change for a while, I don't think.

Looking forward to: all of our family time before we go. This weekend, one of my step-sisters is graduating from college, so I'll see everyone at her graduation party, and then we're going to dinner with Ben's parents to celebrate his graduation. Next weekend, I'll probably be with my mom & sister again, as Ben has to go to base, and the weekend after that will be seeing everyone at our going away party. And then we're gone. I'm trying really hard to focus on all of the quality time that we'll get before that.

Making me happy: my marriage with Ben. We're tackling this big move as a team and kicking ass at it. I handle the parts I'm good at, he handles the ones he's good at, and we make a really good team. He's incredibly busy right now with finishing up schoolwork before graduation next weekend, but he still makes time for me and is a really wonderful husband. I'm proud of his determination with all of this schooling, and I just really think brains are sexy. I'm in love with my husband, folks.

this weekend

... was a little crazy.

In an effort to smush in as much quality time as we can before the move, our weekends this month are packed. This one was the beginning:

Friday, we went to my mom's and had dinner with her & my sister and did a whole bunch of laundry. Mom & I went on a walk and it's always so nice to reconnect with her and to have a few hours to spend with Jessa.

Saturday, we did the Color Run! Ben and I along with my sister and our friend, Chris, signed up a few months ago and I kind of forgot about it until this week. Thankfully they were all cool with running at my slow poke pace and it was a ton of fun. We got covered in color, as it should be, and then opened our packets and doused each other in even more of that stuff. My shower afterwards was a good 40 minutes and I didn't even get it all off.
After we showered and impressed ourselves with a speed clean of the apartmet, my college roommate and her boyfriend came in from Cleveland. We spent the night telling stories from the good ol' days and wondering how in the world it's been a whole year since we graduated. [A year!].  We walked into town and ate some good barbeque and then headed downtown to hang out with the boys. It's nights like that, where we drink on the front porch, go to a bar with twinkle lights and picnic tables in the back, and end up back at the boys' playing darts, that make me want to never move past this stage of our lives.

Lacey & Jeff had to leave Sunday morning, so we said goodbye and promptly landed on the couch with coffee in our hands and last night's SNL on tv. Then it was time for our cook out! A few weeks ago, I invited all of our friends to come to the park right by our house for some football and cheeseburgers, and it turned out to be the perfect day for it. We came, ate, drank & played.  We forgot to get a group picture while everyone was still around, but we have these and these will do.

Oh and one friend does stand up comedy on Sunday nights, so a few of us went out afterwards. Really, I just brought that up because here's a picture of Ben with his motorcycle. Hot.

Thursday favorite

Yesterday was one of my favorite days this week. There's something about getting an early start to the day and being productive before the hour that you normally even finish eating breakfast. The day was spent in a meeting and then running errands: buying things and returning things and feeling so productive in my flowy dress. The sun was shining, I got compliments on my dress in literally every store, and it was one of those days where you just feel GOOD, you know?

To keep the good day going, I stopped and bought flowers on my way home. I buy flowers for myself a lot because they're so stinkin pretty and Ben doesn't really think to get them for me. That's more than okay because he washes all of our dishes and takes care of our bills and squeezes me tight and that is how he shows me he loves me. So the flower buying is up to me. Usually, a $6 grocery store bouquet of tulips is good. They're cheap and pretty and they get the job done. Yesterday, though, I wanted to get something extra pretty. I stopped at a florist, told her what I could spend and what I liked and that up there is what she came up with. They're the perfect flowers for our springtime coffee table and there's something so nice about treating yourself to pretty things. Especially when it's a random sunny Thursday and your only motivation is because you want to.

[Oh, and Ben was sweet enough to take pictures of me with my flowers. Some days I'm just not photogenic, so you don't get to see most of them, but this one is a gem. He had just said sweet things to me and that's the look of love, kids].

I like moving because...

we get to throw crap away!

Most of yesterday was spent going through the attic and the closets getting rid of stuff that we don't need to bring to Texas. My clutter-free soul loves boxing things up and sending it away. My nostalgic soul says "NO, I wore that shirt when I was 18 and kissed Ben for the first time while we were sitting on his bed watching the ending credits of Back to the Future". My boobs say "honey, you're not 18 anymore. We refuse to stop growing and that shirt will never fit us again".

Damn boobs.