unemployment

i had this moment of realization the other day that this isn't my summer break.
i'm now graduated from college, so these free days and nights aren't just another summer, where it's expected that i spend my days running around in the sun and my nights eating s'mores and star-gazing, like an irresponsible teenager.
no no, my friends, this glorious time off is what they call "unemployment".

but lest you think all i do is spend my time sitting around, eating bon bons and watching the Price is Right [i mean, that's maybe 1 day out of 7], here are some unofficial job titles i've held in these past two and a half weeks:

professional fake eyelash applicator

professional fishing cheerleader

[not as exciting as it sounds]

professional date night blazer wearer. also, queso eater.

professional self-wedding planner.

[more on that tomorrow]

professional volleyball watcher. also, body part waker upper.

[my butt is one of the first things that falls asleep, i've noticed]

andddd professional crafter.

not to mention, i've become pretty darn good at unloading the dishwasher, painting my nails outside, bar trivia, applying for [real] jobs, and getting tired before 11 pm, like a grown up.

maybe these are all things i can put on my resume?

any employer that counts being joyfully lazy as a skill is a friend of mine.