by 2012

lately, i've felt like i'm drowning.
i know this is a heavy way to start a blog post, but just listen.
there comes a time in every semester when everything starts coming due and it's all at once and it's just when the sicknesses start going around and then my computer starts dying and i'm too poor to buy a new one; too poor for anything awesome for that matter, and my boyfriend just came home from 6 months of being way too far away so all i want to do is spend time with him and i have to start seriously figuring out my future and doing something about it and and and.
oh, wait. 
that's just this semester.
but still.
it's now.
i'm in it right now.
this avalanche of shit, if you will.

but to calm my nerves a little bit, i've always made lists.
lists calm me.
seems counter intuitive, since they're usually to-do lists, but i guess it just organizes my crazy brain and helps me feel like i really can handle all of this.
so when i read tanya's twelve by 2012 list, i decided to make one of my own.
instead of making new year's resolutions [that get quickly forgotten by february, at the latest], i'm making goals to finish by the new year.
mine's only 8.
8 is all i can handle right now.
but 8 seems just perfect for me.
so here goes:

original photo from here, awesome added in words by me

1. i'm going to lose 12 pounds. i tried losing weight before b came home and that didn't really work out. and since then, i've just been eating like a fiend. call it celebratory dining, call it being a fat ass, whatever. it's time to stop. i've heard wonders about Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, so that's the plan. time to whip this ass back into shape.

2. i'm going to save 40% of every paycheck. a lot of my paychecks go to boring bills, but i also love to shop. target is my bank account's nemesis. so that's gotta stop. my adult future is  staring me down from 8 months away and i've got to have more than 20 dollars to my name when that time comes.

3. i'm going to get a seasonal job. i have 4 jobs here at school, but once the semester stops, so do they. sure, it's nice to sit around for a month at christmas time and do nothing, but again with the adult future thing. i'll be a barista or a cashier or something. anything. i just hate being poor.

4. i'm going to read two books. this sounds super lame. i love to read. during the summer, i'm a reading fiend. but with all this school work, work work, and just being so busy, i haven't had time to read for fun. i have a few leftover summer books on my nook and that seems like just the place to start.

5. i'm going to come up with creative christmas presents. now, be aware that i'm not saying handmade. sure, maybe i'll add a little somethin-somethin to jazz up a present, but for the most part, i can't make anything valuable with these two hands of mine. but that doesn't mean i can't come up with a christmas present that's better than a gift card and a cd. here's to the christmas of giving the best personal gifts i've ever given.

6. i'm going to not die. as i said, this is the time of the semester that everything is coming due for me and i am o.ver.whelmed. this goal seems aloof, but it's totally necessary. i'm going to take a step back, write out the game plan for the next few weeks, and go to it. if a little less fun needs to be had, i can sacrifice that. then by the time thanksgiving break comes around, i'll be done with 95% of the hard stuff for the semester. thank god.

7. i'm going to show every important person in my life how much i love them. yup, i'm already super strapped for time, but this one is important. i wouldn't be able to get through times like these if it wasn't for people like those, so i'm going to find good ways to show every single person that i appreciate them. cheesy ways like love notes and colored pictures.

8. i'm going to take two steps towards my future. i'm pretty sure i've decided that my next step isn't going to be grad school, but i'm going to take two active steps towards whatever's next. i'm going to research owning a small business and ...something else. something that will help me get where i think i want to go.

so. there they are.
now they're out there, so i'll be held accountable.
these are the things i'm going to accomplish by the time 2012 gets here.
i promise.


Alana said...

Hang in there! I know exactly the feeling because I would feel it every. single. semester. Just remember that everything will work out, even if you don't get every single thing done! :)

HiLLjO said...

Right now is this kind of time for a lot of people. Humanity is stirring. Wanting more for themselves.

I myself am OBSESSED with wanting a larger life with a SAHM job mixed into etsy. And HOWWWWW to get it. So much so that I can tell just how frustrated you are. I feels it.

Just be calm. Rest on the fact that even if things aren't exactly as you want them right now, you want them to be better.
That is beautiful. You want a better life for yourself and your loved ones. This moment is just as beautiful as the one you will be in when all 8 get crossed off.
Just wait. Just live. It's enough!

Now go enjoy your baby bein' home.

Mr. Taylor and his Lady said...

loving that last goal girl. so perfect! and thanks for the little shout out. you're the best!!
xo TJ

M Jacks said...

so awesome. way to be, g-friend.
print 'em out, hang 'em up and get 'em done. crossing stuff off lists is such a rush. at least the boy is around to cross them off with you ;)

crafting for christmas is on my list too. since i haven't been saving 40% of each paycheck... cough cough wooooopps.

Debbie {mrs and the village} said...

You are way more motivated than I am. I'm excited to see this done! You should make it a series!!! I'm so addicted to series. It's a sickness, really.

The Craft-Arty Kid said...

I've also hit that part of the semester so I know how you're feeling.
I hope some of your motivation rubs off on me.
Loving your blog :)
x Lisa

Lost&Found said...

I am so thankful my college years are over- until grad school next year. I remember one year the week before finals my computer died and I didn't have money to get a new one. Meanwhile, papers were due and finals had to be studied for when all I really wanted to do was hang with the bf. Life was stressful (and still is) especially as a bio major. But, it wasn't always crazy and I managed to get through-alive- so can you! You've inspired me to make a list too! Lists are very calming, especially when you start checking things off!

Hooks said...

haha deja vu from my grad school posts... #4: check! looking forward to #5 (and #6? thank you for not dying) :)