I recently had to pick up a second job to help pay our bills. My first job is only 16 hours each week, so I have plenty of time to work another job, but all I've been doing is complaining: whining to Ben, whining to my family, dreading going in for each shift. It's frustrating when I think about our situation quickly because the Air Force pays Ben to go to school each week. He earns us income by being student and I get jealous that I actually have to work to help support us. I realize that this makes me sound like a lazy, spoiled brat, but I'm trying to be honest here. Sometimes I'm exactly that. My new job is hosting at a chain restaurant and I actually think I like it. The work is easy and perfect for my personality, and I get to work with one of my best friends. It's just not the hours that I want to work, so I complain.
But you know what? I'm lucky that I have two jobs, let alone one. For the beginning part of the summer, Ben was the only one making us any money and I felt so lame, just mooching off of him. I'm glad that I can find work and I'm thankful that I can make money for our little family. And that friend that I get to work with at my hosting job? He recommended me and helped me get this job. I'm thankful for him helping me out.
The day that I started this new gig, I was getting changed, whining about having to give up my Saturday afternoon to go do something lame while Ben got to sit around and watch tv, like a normal person does on weekends. I was bitching about having to wear dress clothes, complaining about being tired and hungry, whining about having to work at all. And Ben, clearly annoyed with me, said "sweetie, can you just do this for us?". I sighed and said "yeah, whatever", but that little request from him has been eating away at me since.
I don't want to work. I don't want to clean up Ben's messes or stay up late keeping him company when he has homework to do and I'm tired. But you know what? This is what I signed up for. In marrying Ben, I signed up for a partnership, I signed up for putting him first, and I signed up for working as part of the team. As much as I may dislike working on a Friday night when we'd normally be out doing fun things, this is what our team needs right now. So every night this weekend, while I'm off doing my hosting duties, and Ben is out drinking with our friends or other such fun activity, I'm going to try not to be bitter. I'm going to try to remember that I'm doing this for our team, and that I love my teammate with everything I have, so that should be enough for me.
I'm going to try to remember to do every small thing for my husband with great love, even when I have dirty dish juice splashed on my clothes and guests annoyed with me that they have to wait 30 minutes for a table. I'm doing this for us.